Friday, July 31, 2009

Yodiododidodo-- because I couldn't think of a better title on my lunch break

Well, I tell ya, that new blog of mine, is taking off. So far, 4 famous people have logged in and added their famousosity to the mix. The kidneys will be rolling in any day now...any day now...any day... hey people! get those kidneys on the way right now. You're not really using them, are you? Well, ok...maybe you are. But you've probably got a spare that you, spare, right?

Ok, now, I really need to think up a way of preserving all those kidneys that are going to come in. That could be problematic. I only pick up my snail mail about every 10-14 days. Hmmm, and if you saw my backyard, you'd know how challenged I am in taking care of igloos and other coolers. I don't think it's a good idea for me to receive the donated kidneys for others. But hey, if you're donating one to me, we'll work out some special delivery options.

What's been going on in the nocturnal dialysis center? I'm not getting enough sleep, but what else is new? Did I tell you about the janitor that knocks your chair while you're sleeping? He's kinda the "Terminator w/a mop." And then there's all the beeping and buzzing that goes along with dialysis machines. Oh, and a couple of snorers...but I can't be too bitchy about that because I snore when I sleep on my back.

I can't help wondering though, if there would be fewer nocturnal patients needing oxygen during their treatments, if they were allowed to sleep in a different position-- other than on their backs. You see, I think some of the snoring could be cut by being able to change positions...and that less snoring would mean less oxygen needed. But that's just my crazy hypothesis.

In any case, I wear my noise canceling headphones to keep the noise level down so I can sleep. But I really think I'm going to have to get out of my chair and strangle that janitor if he wakes me up again with his mopping!

Got a call from the social worker the other day to check in with me-- since I missed my appointment with her due to technical difficulties (I'll blog about that later). She wanted to know how I felt about a recent personnel change. They didn't exactly give me advance notice that a new nurse would be coming in-- but hey, I've already bitched about that enough and have gotten to the point to where I don't give a flying fuck.

Well, that's true. I will always give a flying fuck...but well, I don't have the time or energy for much more than a flying fuckette.

Anyhoo, the new nurse seems alright. He only once tried to tuck me in-- argh! They don't know that if I wanted a tuck-in I'd want a good night kiss and a glass of milk, too. Better back off, Nursy, I can tuck myself in and I know all you really want is to get a load of my hotness in my jammies.

The nutritionist had a lapse this week-- and put a smiley face on my progress report. I don't know why these "professionals" haven't gotten a clue that most of us dialysis patients don't want to be treated like kindergarteners. I want "just the facts, ma'am." When I have to share my lab results with another professional, I'd rather them not see that I've done a "great job!!!11!!!!111!"


I have heard rumors about other dialysis centers considering the in-center nocturnal option. And a couple of those centers are closer than the one I visit now. I am very loyal to the doctor who runs the nocturnal study I'm currently in-- I would hate to move away from her. But-- it's a pain in the ass to drive 1.5 hours each way to get nocturnal dialysis 3 times a week. That's time I could be using for other things-- like surfing for pictures of Robert Pattinson or getting my toenails painted.

Well, I'm going to have to wrap this up since I'm writing on my lunch break. Get that, my sweet employer-- I'm blogging during my lunch break, no worries... I'm on my laptop. I'm being a good girl, for once.

Nitey nite to you...


Wednesday, July 15, 2009

I'm on a roll now-- a new blog

I can't help it. I have too much to say and I love mischief. I have created a new blog-- I'm famous-- give me a kidney! This is in response to Natalie Cole appearing on Larry King and getting numerous offers from the public of their kidneys-- all to save her celebrity-hide.

Why should only famous people get offers of transplants? What about the rest of us? I have created this new blog as a service to the Chronic Kidney Disease community-- now we can post why we are famous and have the world offer their organs to us. Er um, well, I meant kidneys, livers, etc... but there just might be someone that offers up some rather interesting organs-- if you know what I mean. *wink wink*

So, please, visit my blog if you're kidney crank and let the kidneys roll in!

Note to Davita: Your days are numbered, bee-otch!

Nitey nite...


(What) Comfort in the Dialysis Center(?)

This one is from a discussion on about comfort in dialysis centers. Here's my response:

For the most part, I have been happy with the professionalism of the dialysis staff in the centers where I've been treated (with the exception of visiting centers--yikes! travel is pretty much out of the question). Right now, there is some consistency in the staffing for our in-center nocturnal, so that has been a big improvement. Also, there is wireless internet now, but I don't use it because they wanted me to sign an agreement that I felt impinged on my freedom of speech-- and, a laptop (even one of the minis) would be too much to carry with all the other stuff I have to take for overnight in the center.

What I would like to see improved is the chairs (I have blogged extensively on the these torture devices), more cable stations (we have about 10 right now, not quite enough that's interesting for spending 24 hours a week on dialysis-- at night, no less), reasonable temperature control (three blankets is a bit much) and privacy.

Privacy is one of the biggest issues for me because 1) I don't want anyone seeing me while I'm being treated other than staff or family, 2) I don't want to see anyone else being treated (especially if they have the tendency to "die" almost every treatment), and 3) I'm doing nocturnal-- if I wanted everyone to see me while I'm sleeping I would invite them to cuddle up in my chair with me.

I met a design team (architect and interior design professor) at a work event and asked the professor about having one of his classes work up an ideal nocturnal dialysis design. His response was weak-- and so was that of the doctor who is running the study I'm participating in. This was disappointing because there would not be any cost to the center to have a design worked up, and the professor could have a whole new project for his students to work on (it would be easy enough to incorporate our needs into the objectives for student work-- especially since designing a "chair" is one of the main tasks).

Change comes slowly to the dialysis community. The change I see coming on the soonest is that I'm going to find a way to not have to stay on dialysis, hehehe. That will probably come long before a comfy chair or adequate partitions!

Nitey nite...


Tuesday, July 14, 2009

I'll show you mine...

Yesterday some personage (I didn't know) came into the nocturnal unit and said he was going to take my picture. *HELLO* give a girl some warning before barging in taking her picture. My response to him was to bend over, but he didn't seem interested in taking a pic of my butt. And it's a most marvelous butt, too, all nice and flat, since I sit/lie on it 8 hours/3 nights a week at dialysis! Hooo! :sir ken;

I think they were taking the pictures for the study to show how much more marvelous we look now that we're on nocturnal. The truth is, I don't look like death-warmed-over now, but I do look like I've aged 20 years. People used to guess my age in my I look my age-- 46. Sure, the nocturnal will probably help me live longer, but sheesh, I would prefer not to do so looking like some old bag! I used to belong to the (slightly offensive) black-don't-crack crew, for shucks sake! (Google-it, if you don't have a clue).

Yes, a totally vain moment. And I'm entitled, because I'm worth it! no... well, maybe not.